i'm gettin panic attacks now. why??? why you ask?! well...school is starting on monday!!! :( i don't know why, but the beginning of every semester is the worst for me. i feel so depressed....being thrown back in to the daily life of lecture-discussion-monotony. competing against my peers, seeing all the people in their big groups of friends laughing like no tomorrow and having fun, me being a senior...can i just drop off the face of the earth now? i remember beginning my junior year and i was soooo depressed for 2 months. i just felt like a nobody. i guess i still feel like a nobody...maybe this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. i believe that i'm nobody and hence i become what i believe. i don't know...maybe i just need to stop caring whether i'm surrounded by great friends as opposed to always being alone. it's something i can't stop thinking about...is acceptance and wanting to belong so bad??? it's my senior year...i've been here for 3 years and i don't know what i have to show for it? (throws self into deeper pit of depression) whatever...next time you see me, i'll be all smiles anyway...cuz no one wants to be around a party pooper.