lately i've been in that..."what am i going to do with the rest of my life?" sort of mood. it's really depressing, cuz i wish i knew, but i don't. it's really amazing when i see people who already know what they want to do. even in high school, people already knew what they were gonna major in and what jobs they wanted. me, i just blindly finished high school with no long term plans. now that college is almost over in a year...my future is...well, i don't know what it is. i feel that i haven't grown up at all. i still feel like i'm at the same spot as i was when i entered college. i don't know why i'm an economics major. i just am...it just worked out that way. i don't plan on going to grad school for sure. sometimes i just wish i had gone into some engineering major, where i'd be guarenteed a job. but then i'd just be doing it for the money. i wonder if other people feel this way, or if it's just me? i seriously have no direction whatsoever. i'm scared to go out into the real world. i wish the paths were clearly laid out for me, so i wouldn't have to be scared. after college, my parents are no longer gonna support me (financially they can't). i'm on my own...plus with the crappy economy and all, i don't know if i can find a job. and if i do, will i love it?? i don't want to be stuck in a dead-end cubicle job. i wish i could have some really cool job like rachel on friends. be a buyer for a department store like bloomingdales or ralph lauren. or be a fashion designer. hey, how hard can it be to design a shirt?? throw in some sleeves and a few buttons and voila! or i wish i could make commercials, cool ones that don't suck. it doesn't help that my mom tells me that she worries about my future also, but she never had to worry about my brother's. what is that supposed to mean?!? i dislike thinking about my future.