i dunno why it's hard to close that chapter in my life that i wanna close? i guess i feel some sort of attachment to it. bleh.

ok, so i've decided to fcuk this sadness crap. (this is the closest i get to cussing in my blog, haha). i decided that i'm not gonna be sad anymore!!! no!!! i'm not gonna take it and let it control me and make me feel insecure, miserable, tired, and lonely. here is a quote i found...

To learn that happiness is a decision. We can decide to be happy with what we are and what we have, or die from envy and jealousy of what we lack.

I may not have what i want, i may not have it all, i may worry, but dammit, i'm gonna be happy with what i have.

anyway, yes, sometimes i just gotta let the bad stuff go that i've been harboring, and time to be happy again. i've been sad for way too long over petty things, angry and envious over people, and i've been preventing myself from embracing life. for the past few months i felt like i was dying inside, i didn't like who i was, i didn't know how i let myself become this way!!! i felt dead. i miss being happy, being cheefull, being hyper, being ME!!! i think being sad has me more intimidating and i guess from the outside point of view "snobby" or i guess bitchy, so yeah...i'm gonna try and be happier, bc really...i have nothing to be sad about when i've received more than i deserve!

happy happy joy joy. remember that stimpy butt dance that he does when this song came on?? mwah!

step one: letting go!!!

haha...hopefully this lasts for more than a week. ehh....