Elizabeth fails to articulate herself again...

I guess I'm at crossroads with myself. I wish I knew what to do. It's so hard to explain this to the person that I want to explain it to the most, but I just can't explain it. I can't explain it to him because I can't even make sense of it myself. I wish he understood that it's not him personally. But everytime I try, he seems to take it personally and wants to change the subject. I wish I could just stop being stupid and just get things clear in my head. I don't even know what holds me back, but I'm scared of change...he alone should understand why change can be a scary thing, because I know he is afraid of it too. Sigh...I think you know who you are.